Joe: I just bought some new dress shirts but I'm not wearing one to the funeral on Friday. I don't wanna be rushin' around to iron the shirt.
Alicia: Oh, rushing around. You don't have 10 minutes tomorrow to iron a shirt?
Joe: My time is limited, you know? I gotta prioritize my bullshit time.
Wednesday, November 26, 2014
Saturday, October 25, 2014
Joe's post- knee replacement insomnia.
Voicemail I got from Joe:
Leesha, it's dad. Hey, uh, sometime today when you're running around, if you & Lloyd come out here for the football game, pick me up some sleeping pills, will ya?
Slept good until about 2:00, woke up, had to go to the bathroom, could not go back to sleep, could not go back to sleep. So I laid there until about 5, got up & took 2 ibuprofen, for some reason, I don't even know what the hell I did that for, I thought, "shit, I'll take some cyanide pills I guess, if I thought they would do some good for somethin.'" But, uh, my time is off, cuz I just woke up now. So I don't even know when I fell back asleep. Everything's just out of whack. Pick me up somethin.' You'll figure it out.
Leesha, it's dad. Hey, uh, sometime today when you're running around, if you & Lloyd come out here for the football game, pick me up some sleeping pills, will ya?
Slept good until about 2:00, woke up, had to go to the bathroom, could not go back to sleep, could not go back to sleep. So I laid there until about 5, got up & took 2 ibuprofen, for some reason, I don't even know what the hell I did that for, I thought, "shit, I'll take some cyanide pills I guess, if I thought they would do some good for somethin.'" But, uh, my time is off, cuz I just woke up now. So I don't even know when I fell back asleep. Everything's just out of whack. Pick me up somethin.' You'll figure it out.
Friday, May 9, 2014
Morning routine
Joe was going to drop off a few things for a coleslaw recipe in my car while I was at the gym.
Joe: You got the recipe printed out? How much oil & sugar do you need?
Alicia: Looks like a cup of oil & a cup of sugar. What time do you think you'll be there?
Joe: Well, you know, after I get my coffee & pick my nose a couple times, I'll be up there around 9:30.
Then I started some unrelated story, going off on a tangent.
Joe: What's this got to do with the g#ddamn coleslaw?
Joe: You got the recipe printed out? How much oil & sugar do you need?
Alicia: Looks like a cup of oil & a cup of sugar. What time do you think you'll be there?
Joe: Well, you know, after I get my coffee & pick my nose a couple times, I'll be up there around 9:30.
Then I started some unrelated story, going off on a tangent.
Joe: What's this got to do with the g#ddamn coleslaw?
Cords and Banjos
Names changed for anonymity
Joe: You know Keith called the other day and asked me how long of a cord he should get for his lawn work. He's got a 25 foot cord & a 50 foot cord & he's always borrowing my 100 foot cord.
I told him to get a 100 foot cord so it takes care of the whole lawn.
He said last time he had a 100 foot cord his wife cut through it with the hedge trimmer so he thought he should get a shorter cord.
So he's thinking of getting a shorter cord. That thing will be stretched out like a g#ddamn banjo string. He just needs to tell his wife to get her head out of her a$s.
Joe: You know Keith called the other day and asked me how long of a cord he should get for his lawn work. He's got a 25 foot cord & a 50 foot cord & he's always borrowing my 100 foot cord.
I told him to get a 100 foot cord so it takes care of the whole lawn.
He said last time he had a 100 foot cord his wife cut through it with the hedge trimmer so he thought he should get a shorter cord.
So he's thinking of getting a shorter cord. That thing will be stretched out like a g#ddamn banjo string. He just needs to tell his wife to get her head out of her a$s.
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