Nothing like a good quality family heirloom (sp?)

My dad is what you call thrifty. His sandwich bags get more than one use (this is what I like to call environmentally conscious)

Joe: Aww, I know what I wanted to tell you. I ran out of sandwich bags, but I was looking at the box that they came in and it was from Drug Emporium. What's that been, about 10 years since that store closed? So I've had that same box of sandwich bags for 10 years. Can you believe it?

So Walgreens had sandwich bags on sale this week. There's a 3 box limit, so at the rate I use them I'd have to pass them along to Katie & Anna (granddaughters)

Alright, I'm tired of this stupid talk, I'm goin'.

Alicia: I got my paycheck today.
Joe: From work?
Alicia: (silent pause for a few seconds... in awe of the stupidity of this question) No, from hooking.
Joe: Oh yeah, you caught me off guard. You mean hooking, like looking for your boo.

(he's excited I taught him the slang "boo" for significant other, he's sticking it in his everyday vocabulary. the other day we were watching real housewives of new jersey and he said, "oh, that must be her boo")

Alicia: How was Real Housewives of DC?
Joe: Annoying. All those people are annoying. Everybody tries to out ass-kiss each other.

Once again, highlighting his extensive knowledge of technology:

Last night watching tv there was a commercial on for a cell phone & certain kinds of apps.

Alicia: Hey dad, what kind of app are you going to get?
Joe: Blue

talking about getting blood drawn & how the lab can get so much information from blood.

Joe: I mean, how much stuff is in the blood? It's amazing, isn't it? I don't know how they can tell that stuff, I mean, if you got your blood drawn & it came out yellah (yellow) you'd know something was wrong, but otherwise, how do they know all that stuff?

Joe has bumblebees that have lived under his back porch for years.

Alicia: Here comes another yellow jacket, just making his way home. He's probably sticking up his middle finger at you as he makes his way under the porch.
Joe: Yeah, remember when they used to go in through the corner over there.
Alicia: Yes, they call that the back door. What did you do, spray over there or something?
Joe: Nah, I guess they just decided not to go in that way anymore.
Alicia: I wonder how they remeber to come back here. I mean, they must fly all over the place.
Joe: I don't know, it's weird ain't it? Of all these houses, they know to come back here. They must be smart or somethin.'

Regarding his lunch for work this coming week:

Joe: I ain't goin' all the way to Save A Lot just for lunch meat. I guess I'll get it at Schnucks. I ain't got no lunch meat & ain't got no hot dogs, so I need to get something. (like these are the only options he can have for lunch) I ain't got no lettuce either, but I got pickles, that's right, I got pickles I can use instead of lettuce. You don't want to hear all this sh$t. This is a dumb conversation.