What a turkey

My aunt is having some family members perform a play for Thanksgiving.  She's having my dad play the part of the turkey, so she asked him & me to work on some kind of costume.

Joe:  So I got an oven mitt with a picture of a turkey on it.  I thought I'd just hang that around my neck.

Alicia:  Let me show you what I made.... (I proceed to get out a construction paper turkey tail, a beak w/ a squiggly red hangy thing, and wings)

Joe: okay, let me show you what I got.  (he pulls out the oven mitt)

Alicia:  That's a chicken, not a turkey.

Joe:  Well I'll be g#ddamn.

 

The tv from the '80's

Joe's TV is from the early '80's.  It's one of those wood console tvs.

Joe:  Remember my old stove, how I'd have to give it a good whack to work right?  I got the same issue going on with my tv.  The g#ddamn thing keeps flickerin' and poppin.'

Alicia:  I thought you just needed a new cable box.

Joe:  Nah, winds up it still happens even with the new cable box.  It did it the other day & I said, "this f#cking thing." So, I took my shoe off and went up & gave it a good whack on the side, I was going to use my fist but I thought I might break my g#ddamn hand.  Gave it a whack & what do  you know, the picture came back on.  That lasted a couple hours & it did it again, I gave it a good whack & it stopped.  I know some sh#t.