Sitting at Applebee's with Joe and Grandma
Joe: Boy, the stock market did bad this week. Well, not the stock market, but AT&T.
Alicia: Oh really, what's it at now?
Joe: 27
Alicia: Why do you think it dropped?
Joe: Well, Verizon came out this week with the news of buying out the I pad, or I phone or E pad or some shittin thing.
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Two Copies
Joe: Can you make some copies of a few papers for me?
Alicia: Sure, whatcha got?
Joe: (has 10 items he whips out that he needs copies of) I need 2 copies of this, 2 copies of this, 2 copies of this, 2 copies of this. Two copies of everything really. Two copies of this, two copies of this.
Alicia: Hold on, hold on.... so you need 2 copies of this? And 2 copies of this? How many copies of this?
(shoot me now)
Alicia: Sure, whatcha got?
Joe: (has 10 items he whips out that he needs copies of) I need 2 copies of this, 2 copies of this, 2 copies of this, 2 copies of this. Two copies of everything really. Two copies of this, two copies of this.
Alicia: Hold on, hold on.... so you need 2 copies of this? And 2 copies of this? How many copies of this?
(shoot me now)
Monday, January 24, 2011
Sunshine
Joe: What's up, what're you doing?
Alicia: Sitting here on the deck reading in the sunshine. It's nice out here.
Joe: Who are you sh#ttin? What, your Raynaud's ain't kickin in?
Alicia: No, it's actually kind of warm in the sun, I just took my sweatshirt off, only wearing a t-shirt.
Joe: Aww, b#llshit, like you're Wonderwoman or something.
Alicia: It's not bad, have you been out?
Joe: I been out about 3 times to the mailbox dealing with this MetLife stuff. Yeah, who are you kidding, like you're the Lois Lane of your street. You're the biggest wuss of Buckley Rd.
Alicia: Haaaa.
wrapping it up:
Alicia: You need to get outside, quit being such a sissy.
Joe: Yeah right.
Alicia: Sitting here on the deck reading in the sunshine. It's nice out here.
Joe: Who are you sh#ttin? What, your Raynaud's ain't kickin in?
Alicia: No, it's actually kind of warm in the sun, I just took my sweatshirt off, only wearing a t-shirt.
Joe: Aww, b#llshit, like you're Wonderwoman or something.
Alicia: It's not bad, have you been out?
Joe: I been out about 3 times to the mailbox dealing with this MetLife stuff. Yeah, who are you kidding, like you're the Lois Lane of your street. You're the biggest wuss of Buckley Rd.
Alicia: Haaaa.
wrapping it up:
Alicia: You need to get outside, quit being such a sissy.
Joe: Yeah right.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Real Housewives of Beverly Hills
Watching Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, again, Joe was giving me a little recap from last week's episode:
Joe: So they had this party at Kyle's house. I don't get it, everyone rolls up in these limos. What's da deal with these limos? Ain't anybody got a g#ddamn car?
Joe: So they had this party at Kyle's house. I don't get it, everyone rolls up in these limos. What's da deal with these limos? Ain't anybody got a g#ddamn car?
Zit
Joe: You ever get a zit on your eyebrow? They're kinda painful. I rub my finger across it & it's real hard. I go into the bathroom to pop it but the son of a b#tch don't pop.
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Joe reads a book
Joe: Guess what I got today? That book, "Dethroning the King," from the library.
Alicia: Wow, a book? When is the last time you read a book?
Joe: I don't know, 7th grade... nah, I don't really know. But, so far I just want to keep reading, it's good.
I like it, but it ain't like I'm going to start reading books now, I just don't do that. I read the paper.
Alicia: But what about Danielle Steel?
Joe: What about Danielle Steel? That's all that bullsh%t, isn't it? What about a book about Roberto Duran, I'd read that.
Alright, I ain't got time for this bullsh*t, I gotta go watch Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.
Alicia: Wow, a book? When is the last time you read a book?
Joe: I don't know, 7th grade... nah, I don't really know. But, so far I just want to keep reading, it's good.
I like it, but it ain't like I'm going to start reading books now, I just don't do that. I read the paper.
Alicia: But what about Danielle Steel?
Joe: What about Danielle Steel? That's all that bullsh%t, isn't it? What about a book about Roberto Duran, I'd read that.
Alright, I ain't got time for this bullsh*t, I gotta go watch Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Phone call
I was over at Joe's & the phone rang:
Joe: Let me answer this, these people have been calling about 3 times a day for 2 months & I either don't answer or I pick it up and hang up right away.
(all I hear is the receiving end of the conversation)
Joe:
Just fine.
Yeah.
I tell ya, I'm retired from Southwestern Bell so I get all that stuff for free.
$8.42 a month.
Yeah, I got long distance, I got call waiting, I got all that stuff you mentioned for $8.42/month.
Naw, I ain't got no computer.
Am I going to get one? Well if I ain't got one so far I ain't gonna get one. I'm doin just fine.
Say what?
Now listen, you people have been calling me every day for 2 months... is this conversation going to put an end to those calls?
Well I don't want someone calling me back within 30 days, I don't give a sh#t if it takes that long to process through your system. I'm gonna trust that you'll get my name off that list & I won't receive any more calls. I'm on the no call list & I was going to put in a complaint with the state about you guys, but I thought having this conversation would end it.
Alright, see ya.
Alicia: Haaa, I liked the part about the computer. Who was that?
Joe: Charter, some bullsh#t call. I can get this for $80, and I can get this for $90. What, was he my dad asking me when I'm going to get a computer.
Joe: Let me answer this, these people have been calling about 3 times a day for 2 months & I either don't answer or I pick it up and hang up right away.
(all I hear is the receiving end of the conversation)
Joe:
Just fine.
Yeah.
I tell ya, I'm retired from Southwestern Bell so I get all that stuff for free.
$8.42 a month.
Yeah, I got long distance, I got call waiting, I got all that stuff you mentioned for $8.42/month.
Naw, I ain't got no computer.
Am I going to get one? Well if I ain't got one so far I ain't gonna get one. I'm doin just fine.
Say what?
Now listen, you people have been calling me every day for 2 months... is this conversation going to put an end to those calls?
Well I don't want someone calling me back within 30 days, I don't give a sh#t if it takes that long to process through your system. I'm gonna trust that you'll get my name off that list & I won't receive any more calls. I'm on the no call list & I was going to put in a complaint with the state about you guys, but I thought having this conversation would end it.
Alright, see ya.
Alicia: Haaa, I liked the part about the computer. Who was that?
Joe: Charter, some bullsh#t call. I can get this for $80, and I can get this for $90. What, was he my dad asking me when I'm going to get a computer.
Saturday, January 1, 2011
External Hard Drive
I need a new computer, so I was looking at the Best Buy ad:
Alicia: Hey Dad, what's an external hard drive?
Joe: Oh, uh, an external hard drive? That's where the steering on your car is a little tricky & it's hard to maneuver, so you have to park your car on the street instead of in the garage.
Alicia: Hey Dad, what's an external hard drive?
Joe: Oh, uh, an external hard drive? That's where the steering on your car is a little tricky & it's hard to maneuver, so you have to park your car on the street instead of in the garage.
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