Alicia's fridge

Joe: If you're going to come over tomorrow to watch Top Chef are you going to pick up some dinner on the way?

Alicia: Oh, I guess so.

Joe: What, you don't want to spend the money on dinner or something?

Alicia: No, I just have things here I wanted to eat up.

Joe: What do you mean you've got things you want to eat, I know how your fridge is. You've got a fridge full of bullsh#t. All those cheese sticks and pinto beans or whatever the hell you eat.

Talking about non-functional things in his house.

Joe: So I go to write a thank you note the other day & I realize I ain't got no g#ddamn pen. I went to my pen drawer and all the pens I got in there are all dried up. I can't believe I didn't have a pen that works in this whole house.

So I went to go to the dollar store to buy some pens. I put my sandals on and they fell apart on me. I couldn't believe it. I must have had these sandals for 20 years. I thought maybe I could put a tie wrap on them.

Alicia: There's no way you've had those for 20 years.

Joe: I think so. I got them right after the time when it was kind of squirrly for guys to wear sandals.