Alicia: Nice socks.
(they have 5 holes by the toes)
Joe: Aw thanks.
Alicia: Didn't you just get new socks?
Joe: These are my working socks. I'm doing laundry today.
Alicia: So you wear those socks when you "work" doing laundry.
Joe: Nah, I mean my good ones are in the laundry.
Alicia: So is there a hole for each toe on purpose?
Joe: Yeah, these are custom made.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Shoveling
Some names have been changed for anonymity
Joe: Yeah, I went out there yesterday evening to shovel & it was a job, but I was glad I did it then because today, the part I didn't shovel, I can't even move it.... it's just ice. The guy up the street has been out there for about 2 hours today working at his. He ain't makin much headway. And ol' Stan, you know how he moves. (joe does a slow motion of putting a shovel down, scooping, tossing, one swipe at a time) He might as well have a g#ddman spoon out there.
Joe: Yeah, I went out there yesterday evening to shovel & it was a job, but I was glad I did it then because today, the part I didn't shovel, I can't even move it.... it's just ice. The guy up the street has been out there for about 2 hours today working at his. He ain't makin much headway. And ol' Stan, you know how he moves. (joe does a slow motion of putting a shovel down, scooping, tossing, one swipe at a time) He might as well have a g#ddman spoon out there.
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Joe getting the paper in an ice storm
Alicia: So how are you doing, how are you handling this ice?
Joe: Well, it's okay. I stepped outside on the front porch to go get the paper & I could feel it was real slick under my feet, so I went back inside to get my shoes on.
(Every day of Joe's life he goes out to get the paper without any shoes on... ice is no exception apparently)
Alicia: So did you walk down the driveway or the grass?
Joe: Wait a minute, what the hell am I talking about? I didn't put any shoes on, I just went in my barefeet down the grass.
Joe: Well, it's okay. I stepped outside on the front porch to go get the paper & I could feel it was real slick under my feet, so I went back inside to get my shoes on.
(Every day of Joe's life he goes out to get the paper without any shoes on... ice is no exception apparently)
Alicia: So did you walk down the driveway or the grass?
Joe: Wait a minute, what the hell am I talking about? I didn't put any shoes on, I just went in my barefeet down the grass.
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Table talk
Sitting at Applebee's with Joe and Grandma
Joe: Boy, the stock market did bad this week. Well, not the stock market, but AT&T.
Alicia: Oh really, what's it at now?
Joe: 27
Alicia: Why do you think it dropped?
Joe: Well, Verizon came out this week with the news of buying out the I pad, or I phone or E pad or some shittin thing.
Joe: Boy, the stock market did bad this week. Well, not the stock market, but AT&T.
Alicia: Oh really, what's it at now?
Joe: 27
Alicia: Why do you think it dropped?
Joe: Well, Verizon came out this week with the news of buying out the I pad, or I phone or E pad or some shittin thing.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Two Copies
Joe: Can you make some copies of a few papers for me?
Alicia: Sure, whatcha got?
Joe: (has 10 items he whips out that he needs copies of) I need 2 copies of this, 2 copies of this, 2 copies of this, 2 copies of this. Two copies of everything really. Two copies of this, two copies of this.
Alicia: Hold on, hold on.... so you need 2 copies of this? And 2 copies of this? How many copies of this?
(shoot me now)
Alicia: Sure, whatcha got?
Joe: (has 10 items he whips out that he needs copies of) I need 2 copies of this, 2 copies of this, 2 copies of this, 2 copies of this. Two copies of everything really. Two copies of this, two copies of this.
Alicia: Hold on, hold on.... so you need 2 copies of this? And 2 copies of this? How many copies of this?
(shoot me now)
Monday, January 24, 2011
Sunshine
Joe: What's up, what're you doing?
Alicia: Sitting here on the deck reading in the sunshine. It's nice out here.
Joe: Who are you sh#ttin? What, your Raynaud's ain't kickin in?
Alicia: No, it's actually kind of warm in the sun, I just took my sweatshirt off, only wearing a t-shirt.
Joe: Aww, b#llshit, like you're Wonderwoman or something.
Alicia: It's not bad, have you been out?
Joe: I been out about 3 times to the mailbox dealing with this MetLife stuff. Yeah, who are you kidding, like you're the Lois Lane of your street. You're the biggest wuss of Buckley Rd.
Alicia: Haaaa.
wrapping it up:
Alicia: You need to get outside, quit being such a sissy.
Joe: Yeah right.
Alicia: Sitting here on the deck reading in the sunshine. It's nice out here.
Joe: Who are you sh#ttin? What, your Raynaud's ain't kickin in?
Alicia: No, it's actually kind of warm in the sun, I just took my sweatshirt off, only wearing a t-shirt.
Joe: Aww, b#llshit, like you're Wonderwoman or something.
Alicia: It's not bad, have you been out?
Joe: I been out about 3 times to the mailbox dealing with this MetLife stuff. Yeah, who are you kidding, like you're the Lois Lane of your street. You're the biggest wuss of Buckley Rd.
Alicia: Haaaa.
wrapping it up:
Alicia: You need to get outside, quit being such a sissy.
Joe: Yeah right.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Real Housewives of Beverly Hills
Watching Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, again, Joe was giving me a little recap from last week's episode:
Joe: So they had this party at Kyle's house. I don't get it, everyone rolls up in these limos. What's da deal with these limos? Ain't anybody got a g#ddamn car?
Joe: So they had this party at Kyle's house. I don't get it, everyone rolls up in these limos. What's da deal with these limos? Ain't anybody got a g#ddamn car?
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