Alicia: So what's the surprise for dinner Sunday?
Joe: I ain't tellin' you.
Alicia: What do you mean?
Joe: What do I mean? What the hell do you mean, 'what do i mean?'" I ain't speakin' Vietnamese, I'm speakin' American. And I mean I ain't tellin' you.

Note from Alicia

Sorry all for the no entries. Joe was in Florida, then my computer went on the fritz. He hasn't said anything funny the past few days. I'll keep trying.

Joe: Where do you want to go for dinner?
Alicia: It doesn't matter.
Joe: How bout all you can eat pizza for 3 bucks in Yorkshire?
Alicia: Nah... that sounds like really good quality pizza.
Joe: You get salad & dessert with it. I don't give a shit about quality, it's quantity I'm interested in. I do the 4 by 4.
Alicia: What's that?
Joe: 4 pieces of pizza on 4 plates.

Joe: I tightened up on the nut on the faucet in your basement and then I waited for 10 minutes and it still wasn't leaking.
Alicia: What did you do for 10 minutes, stand there & stare at it to see if it was leaking?
Joe: Yeah, I stuck my eye right up on it. I got back pain now from bending over that long.

Joe: You know, Aldi has toilet paper, 12 double rolls for $5.50. That's about as cheap as you're gonna get it in this day & age. Maybe it's a seasonal item... I doubt it, I mean, people wipe their a$s all year long, don't they?

Watching football this evening w/ Joe & there were several commercials for unlimited cell phone use for $69.99 from verizon & at&t.
Alicia: That's just what Verizon said, $69.99. At&t is a copy cat.
Joe: 69.99 a month?
Alicia: Yeah.
Joe: Shit, for that they better be serving lunch with it... shit.

A lot of times when I call Joe answers by saying, "Hey Sonia," because Sonia is this character he likes on a show called Operation Repo. So today I called & he answers...
Joe: Hey Sonia, or Sabina, or Sierra.
Alicia: What are you talking about?
Joe: You know, Sabina or Sabinah or however you say it.
Alicia: Why did that make you think about when you said that. (I really messed up my sentence structure when I was speaking)
Joe: What, are you speaking caucasian ebonics over there or what?