Joe: What are you up to?
Alicia: Oh, I just got home from work & I'm watching Dancing with the Stars.
Joe: Okay I won't hold you up.
So today I cut the grass, I thought it was going to rain later so I cut it early & that rain didn't really amount to much, then I went over to see Terry, then Roy came over so we talked for a while, he went to the funeral parlor, some guy from assumption died, did you know nettymeyer, yeah his mom died, it was up at kutis, so roy stayed for about an hour, you think you're coming over for housewives, i saw the preview for it & it doesn't look that good, they talk a lot about their kids, maybe you'll come over for new york housewives on thursday, you know that dip i made yesterday for mother's day, it had a good taste didn't it, but i couldn't figure it out why it was sweating in the fridge, i mean it had those chillis on it that could produce moisture, but i woulndn't think that would have much to do with it, it was good though, had a good taste, i wish i would have brought it home i could have had it w/ myt morning coffee, yeah i couldn't figure out that moisture, what would cause that, it had beans, salsa, chillis, sour cream, guacomole, maybe it was the guacomole that's made out of a fruit isn't it, did you have any of those meatballs, boy those were good, that sauce is really good, ................. well i won't hold you up.

random commentary from joe while watching real housewives of new york:

joe: who the hell marries these phony broads?

joe: i'd do the time if i could slug them one. POW!

alicia: did you see when ramona did that catwalk the other week?
joe: yeah, how bout them crazy eyes. and she walks like she's got a milk carton up her a$s.

Joe: You getting ready for Idol?
Alicia: Getting ready? Yeah, I'm getting ready, there's so much to do.
Joe: Who's getting kicked off?
Alicia: I think it'll be the skinny little kid.
Joe: Oh yeah, okay.
Alicia: Do you even watch it? You don't even know who that is, do you?
Joe: No, but I may have to watch it to see the skinny little kid.

regarding a random drug test joe has to do for work tomorrow morning. (last year the amount of urine he produced wasn't enough for the test, so now he's all worried about it):

Alicia: Hello?
Joe: What's your take on how I should handle this pee tomorrow?
Alicia: Well, I'd say to drink about a glass & a half of water before you leave.
Joe: Yeah, okay, I'll do that and then I'll drink a cup when I get there.
Alicia: You might be peeing in your pants.
Joe: I hope so.

Joe: Is there something messed up with the news tonight? Is it on late or somethin?
Alicia: Yeah, it's 1/2 hour late because of Glee.
Joe: Yeah, I'm sittin here watchin it & Sandy Miller comes on at 10 after 10 & says, "watch this story coming up at 10." Shit, it's 10 minutes after 10.
I'm gonna talk to the television and get this straightened out.
Alicia: Haaaaaa
Joe: Alright, I'm outta here, I ain't got time for this bullsh#t.

Joe: What's da deal with this CVS card thing?
Alicia: I'm not sure, I've seen it in their ad, but I don't know what it's talking about.
Joe: This coffee I get is buy one get one free but they ain't got the shittin price on it. They talk about having this card. Lotta their shit in their ads needs a card.
Alicia: I don't know, I know Walgreens has those little booklets of coupons in the store, maybe it's like that.
Joe: I just thought you'd know about it.
Alicia: No, I'm not in the know on that one.
Joe: Yeah, you don't know nuttin.

regarding facebook & how/when people comment on topics:

Joe: So what, do people just sit around on their computer all night and wait to say something?
Alicia: No, it just depends on when they check it if there are any updates or comments about something they said.
Joe: So, yeah, then they're just checking their computer all g#ddamn day long?
Alicia: Well, I think some people can get a noise on their phone every time they have an update.
Joe: I know the noise I'd make. I'd put the phone up to my a$s & blow a big noise. That's the noise I'd make.