Joe has bumblebees that have lived under his back porch for years.

Alicia: Here comes another yellow jacket, just making his way home. He's probably sticking up his middle finger at you as he makes his way under the porch.
Joe: Yeah, remember when they used to go in through the corner over there.
Alicia: Yes, they call that the back door. What did you do, spray over there or something?
Joe: Nah, I guess they just decided not to go in that way anymore.
Alicia: I wonder how they remeber to come back here. I mean, they must fly all over the place.
Joe: I don't know, it's weird ain't it? Of all these houses, they know to come back here. They must be smart or somethin.'

Regarding his lunch for work this coming week:

Joe: I ain't goin' all the way to Save A Lot just for lunch meat. I guess I'll get it at Schnucks. I ain't got no lunch meat & ain't got no hot dogs, so I need to get something. (like these are the only options he can have for lunch) I ain't got no lettuce either, but I got pickles, that's right, I got pickles I can use instead of lettuce. You don't want to hear all this sh$t. This is a dumb conversation.

Sometimes Joe calls me at work at prime treatment times when I'm really busy. One time he called me to tell me toilet paper was on sale. Last week he called around 10:30, I had 2 patients & had sweat running down my back.

Joe: Hey, you got white out at home?

joe planted zoysia plugs around his yard back in 1994. ever since then, to this day, he still talks about how that "zoysia is finally taking over."

Joe: I was out pulling some weeds when you called. My grass is looking pretty good. In that bare spot, I finally saw some zoysia runners starting up, so that's good. That zoysia is finally taking over. Looks good. Shit, I'll be Good Housekeeping's hoosier of the month.

a story joe retold last night...

Joe: Some punk kid with his music turned up real loud was driving the wrong way down the lane in the Shop N Save parking lot. I was driving straight towards him & it pissed me off. So I just kept driving right up to him until I got a few feet away. He yelled something out his window like "you gonna move?" In the middle of the lane I shut my car off, walked to the front of my car pointed at him & said 'F#ck you, I ain't movin.' Then I just leaned back on the hood & crossed my arms, then started reading my newspaper.

we were talking about rude people and their cell phone use.

Joe: Did I tell you the story about when I was getting onto 55 at Lindbergh?
Alicia: No, what happened?
Joe: You know how it's a double turn lane, but the one lane is only a short distance then you have to merge? This guy was in the outer lane & talking on his cell phone, not paying any attention to the road. He cut me off, then merging onto 55 he cut off a bunch of other people when the lanes keep merging, no blinker or nuthin.' So I caught up with him & got his attention, he's still talking on his phone. I gave him the "roll down the window" signal. He rolled down his window and looked at me. I told him, "Stick that cell phone up your ass and pay attention to the road."

Alicia: How was Real Housewives of New Jersey?
Joe: It was good. Boy that Danielle is a crazy broad. That Ashley, she's annoying too. She threatened to kill Danielle on a text. That's what they said on the show at least. And that Teresa, boy is she annoying. I can't stand that broad... and her kids. Danielle had her army of thugs with her when she met Dina at a restaurant.
I can't believe I'm even talkin' about this sh#t. Alright, I'm goin', see ya.