At the family Thanksgiving celebration tonight we were playing Catch Phrase. The clue was, "a blind singer." Joe yells out, "Santana!"

Joe: Alright, I gotta get going. I gotta take the trash out & I want to eat some pumpkin pie before I sit down and watch Real Housewives of Orange County.

Joe can be such a girl sometimes... other chic shows he has enjoyed in the past: Felicity, Once and Again, Desperate Housewives.

Joe: I finally threw away some of those holey socks I had. They were getting so bad, there were holes in the heels & toes, so when I took my walk I put toilet paper & wrapped it around my toes. I got a g#ddamn blister.
Alicia: Didn't you buy new socks about a month ago when we were at the store?
Joe: Yeah, but I wanted to get all I could out of these socks. I saved them... they'll be good to use as rags to stain your door.

Those landfills love the Herbsts... not much gets thrown away.

last night watching 60 minutes, there was a segment about paleontology & potentially using dinosaur dna & combining it with a chicken to make a dinochicken.joe & i were completely quiet during the first 10 minutes of the segment, when all the sudden he says, "is this makin' any g#ddman sense?"

tonight during dessert, joe was trying to get a new container of cool whip open.
joe: j#sus chr*st! you gotta be a g#ddman bankrobber to get into this thing.

Joe: I'm going to go to Walgreens & get some more of that Cool Water cologne.
Alicia: Maybe you shouldn't wear cologne, I don't like a lot of fragrance.
Joe: Well I ain't takin' you out so you ain't got nuttin' to say about it. ha ha ha.

Joe: I fixed your electric blanket for you.
Alicia: Oh yesssss, how'd you do it?
Joe: Well, there's a bunch of skinny ass wires that run through it. One was broken, so I cut some holes in the blanket & stuck a coat hanger in there to fish out the wire & spliced them together. Then I sewed the holes up.
Alicia: You.... sewed? That's kind of domestic of you, isn't it?
Joe: Domestic, no shit.

Alicia: Hey, what's up?
Joe: Nuttin. I'm just frying up 3 pork chops in bacon grease.
Alicia: Oh, wonderful, sounds healthy.
Joe: I've also got some orange koolaid. But you know, orange koolaid ain't that good. It's not like grape or cherry. It's kind of phony.

anybody know another 62 year old male that drinks orange koolaid?

Joe: So what's the deal with this facebook thing? You can write what you're doing and everyone can see it? I don't get computers. Computers are dumb and people are dumb for using them.