Joe: So I got a copy of my itinerary from my trip in case I needed to show it to get out of jury duty.
Alicia: How did you get that? (joe does not have a computer)
Joe: You know, I just dialed a few numbers in the phone & it spit out the other end of the phone.
Alicia: Huh? What do you mean?
Joe: Haa, haaa.

Scenario: Joe thinking he's funny making fun of the fact that he knows little & doesn't own anything that's technologically progressive. Many times he says, "I'll just email goggle." He thinks he's hilarious.... & then I laugh.

We were sitting by my computer writing a bunch of numbers down trying to figure out some tax information. Joe's pen (which he carries everywhere & is very protective of) is acting up & not writing well.
Joe: This g*ddamn pen. The son of a bitch just goes to sleep.

Side note about Joe's love of his pen... he lost his pen in a field at my sister's church in Florida during their winter picnic. He went back on Sunday & combed that field looking for that pen.

Joe: I had a bit of a plumbing issue today. That gooseneck pipe in the brown bathroom is rotten & just fell apart in my hands. So, I've got a plan on how I'm going to fix it.
Alicia: Do you have a shut off valve there, or how are you keeping water from flooding the bathroom?
Joe: Well, I stuck one end of a sock in the hole & the other end in a bucket.

Why

Because my main desire in life is to be like that guy on twitter, I'll post stuff my dad says on this thing.